I don’t know what I like less about this Lady Gaga/Beyonce video: that title card “PRISON FOR BITCHES”? The hamfisted product placements for Virgin Mobile, Diet Coke, Polaroid, Wonder bread and Miracle Whip? The garish production design? Lifting the Pussy Wagon from Kill Bill and vague specifics from Thelma and Louise under the auspices that this video mirrors some aspect of those movies feminism? The fact that it’s 10 minutes long? (Tyrese Gibson?)

For all of Gaga’s adoration as a pop deconstructionist, the fact of the matter remains: reclaiming and casually using the word “bitches” is no braver or more progressive than some fake-ass ringtone MC causally throwing around “nigger”, and even ironically shilling for Wonder bread and Miracle Whip in your music video is still shilling for Wonder bread and Miracle Whip. This whole fucking shtick is the DEFINITION of “nothing more than the sum of it’s parts”.